Chewy’s bandage on his mutilated thumb came off last night, and like a mother with a new-born child he hasn’t stopped looking at it since. He keeps telling me what great shape it’s in, but if I look at it for too long, it still makes my stomach turn. It’s taken a month to reach this point. It seems like a long time for a relatively minor injury.
In other health matters, I’m still investigating my suspected toothpaste poisoning. I stopped brushing my teeth for a couple of days, and things did get much better, but not completely cured. More puzzling, I’ve read the toothpaste tubes (I’ve got three different brands now) and they all have the same amount of fluoride (1450 ppm). So I’m rethinking my rash claim that I’m not drinking a lot of tap water. In fact, I’m not drinking much cold tap water, but I am drinking a lot more boiled tap water, and I’ve noticed that the taste is stronger after a hot drink. In fact, boiling water makes matters worse as the distilled water boils off, leaving a more concentrated fluoride solution. So the next experiment involves making tea with bottled water.
The One and Only Way to Lose Weight
The experimental weight loss programme has proved a huge success. I’ve lost a regular 1kg per week for the past 5 weeks. The science is validated – if you want to lose weight you must create a calorie deficit. Calories out must be less than calories in. It’s no use cutting down from 4000 calories per day to 3000 if your body only needs 2000. You won’t lose weight, you’ll just gain weight more slowly. I’m still puzzled why it drops off in clumps, and not nice neat 100g increments, but hey, whatever!
Another personal experiment I’ve been running concerns green and herbal teas. I’ve disproved two theories. Drinking green tea does nothing to speed up weight loss (if it did, I’d be a skellington by now) and drinking herbal tea at night doesn’t help you sleep. In fact, if you drink it too late, it’ll wake you up by forcing you to go to the bathroom.
And finally, I recently bought a jar of coconut oil after reading that it did wonders for your hair. It’s a very messy procedure. You have to melt it (if you try this at home, be VERY careful, it’s very easy to burn your scalp, even if the oil only feels warm to your fingers), paste it on your hair, wrap it in cling film and leave it to penetrate for a few hours. What a palaver! After all that, I was expecting miracles, but in fact the end result was no better than your average conditioner. Having most of a jar of coconut oil left, I started eating it, since I’d read that it helps to prevent Alzheimer’s disease and does wonders for your brain function. That may be so, but it tastes like shit. I’ll finish the jar today, and I won’t be buying any more!