The other day I was watching Billy Connolly being interviewed – by Pamela Anderson. Billy’s nearly 70 now, and they’re still married – wow and wow! Anyway, Billy was talking about things he doesn’t ‘get’. His point was that he’d spent a lot of time in his life trying to understand things he didn’t get, but now he’s just accepted that these things exist and doesn’t bother about them any more. The example he gave was Brussels sprouts. I know what he means. There are loads of things I just don’t get.
I don’t get Billy not getting Brussels sprouts. Sprouts are my favourite vegetable. They’re sweet and crunchy and make me think of Christmas. Yum yum! But there are other vegetables I don’t get, like the artichoke. Probably because I’ve never tried it, but hey. I have tried asparagus and I don’t get that either. What’s all the fuss about?
I don’t get Bob Dylan. I’ve tried and tried to listen to his music but it just sounds like noise. Ditto for Jimmy Hendrix. Ditto for the Rolling Stones and I’m not really sure about most of the Beatles stuff. I never got Amy Winehouse, and I’m never planning to get Lady Gaga.
I don’t get Italy. I’ve been twice in the past few years. The first time I went to Florence and I really don’t get that. It’s full of sad, empty churches and huge crowds of tourists. Then I went to the south and I found the people cold and argumentative. Why does everyone else think Italians are warm and fuzzy and ready to make you a pizza at the drop of a hat? Maybe I don’t get Italy because it is home to something else I don’t get. The Roman Catholic Church.
I don’t get chocolate. I like it, but I can’t remember the last time I ate any, and I’m not planning on eating any any time soon. But I’ve listened to so many boring conversations about the merits of this chocolate over that chocolate and how Joe Blogs just couldn’t survive without chocolate. I don’t get it. If chocolate plays such a big part in your life then you really don’t have very much to worry about.
And I don’t get the huge fuss over gadgets. I still don’t know what a Blackberry is. I assume 3G phones were invented for astronauts going into space to withstand the forces of gravity. The whole i[thing] is a mystery to me. What is it all about? I’d be happier to have a good crop of leeks than a GPS in my car. The world’s gone mad.
Song of the day
Today’s tune is The Times They Are a-Changin by Bob Dylan. I don’t get it, but like the man says ‘don’t criticise what you don’t understand’.