A Song a Day – Day 196

Thought for the day “You are what you love, not what loves you.”

It comes from the film Adaptation (2002) with Nicolas Cage and Meryl Streep. The full dialogue is between Charlie and Donald Kaufman who are twin brothers and goes like this (with thanks to IMDB):

Charlie Kaufman: There was this time in high school. I was watching you out the library window. You were talking to Sarah Marsh.
Donald Kaufman: Oh, God. I was so in love with her.
Charlie Kaufman: I know. And you were flirting with her. And she was being really sweet to you.
Donald Kaufman: I remember that.
Charlie Kaufman: Then, when you walked away, she started making fun of you with Kim Canetti. And it was like they were laughing at *me*. You didn’t know at all. You seemed so happy.
Donald Kaufman: I knew. I heard them.
Charlie Kaufman: How come you looked so happy?
Donald Kaufman: I loved Sarah, Charles. It was mine, that love. I owned it. Even Sarah didn’t have the right to take it away. I can love whoever I want.
Charlie Kaufman: But she thought you were pathetic.
Donald Kaufman: That was her business, not mine. You are what you love, not what loves you. That’s what I decided a long time ago.
Donald Kaufman: Whats up?
Charlie Kaufman: Thank you.
Donald Kaufman: For what?

I guess it’s where I am in my life now, but this has really hit home with me. I’ve spent more time than I would like to admit resenting various people for not loving me enough. I’ve spent a long time feeling unloved and unwanted. Large portions of my life have been taken up in looking for love.

Now I realise it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter if nobody has ever loved me, or will ever love me. I’m not what loves me. It’s ok and I’m ok. Not being loved won’t destroy me, because I am what I love. Deep eh ;-)?

Song of the Day

Just a perky little tune I’ve heard a lot recently. Caro Emerald is Dutch, but I love the swirly latino sound. It’s called A Night Like This.


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