I watched David play Goliath at Wimbledon yesterday. Sorry, no, Venus Williams played Kimiko Date Krumm. What a treat to see Kimiko Date back. I used to be a big fan of hers before she retired in 1996. She’s Japanese, but what I like most is that she’s only 5’4” tall. Tiny for a tennis player (Venus Williams is more than a foot taller at 6’1”). She’s also now 41 years old (Williams is 31) and has married Forumla One racing driver Michael Krumm. Hurray for the older woman! She eventually lost the match, but not after giving Williams a good runaround. Kimiko, if you’re reading, if you’d stuck to your game and used your lower centre of gravity to play tactics and keep her on the run, you would have won. You were never going to out-blast her.
As for Williams, I was very distracted by her frock (it seems to be called a playsuit) and spent the first few games trying to see if she was wearing any underwear. The thing itself seemed to have been made out a material usually found in tablecloths. The kind of shiny, wipe-clean one your grandmother used to have. It also seemed to have been put together by her grandmother in her dying days when her sight was already failing. It was a Grecian tunic-like number, that flapped in the wind and looked like it might come apart at the seams during a particularly vigorous serve.
But worst was to come. Each time the camera was on her as she leaned forward to receive serve, I could see that she was wearing underwear after all. I must be getting very very old, but honestly, don’t women want to look beautiful any more?
I have another moan. I head this on the radio last week as Chris Evans was interviewing Tom Jones. I’ve complained about Chris Evans before. He really is an idiot who dances to the sound of his own voice. The short story is that he was so absorbed in rabbiting on that he kept the Archbishop of York waiting. I don’t call that poor planning. I call that old-fashioned bad manners.
Anyway, Tom Jones was lovely, and I was reminded of this great tune which had me dancing round the house. It’s the Prince song, Kiss, performed here by the fantastic Tom Jones. Get your knickers out girls!