A few years ago. In fact, many years ago, I had a good friend. My best friend. We hadn’t known each other very very long. A matter of months, but in that time we had become very close. It doesn’t take long with some people.
At the time, her husband had started divorce proceedings. Not least, because she had told him she had discovered she was a lesbian. For that, whatever. I don’t care. What really fucked up our friendship (excuse the language, but hey, if you’re not an adult, you shouldn’t be here) was the day when I told her that I thought her being a lesbian might have something to do with the divorce.
If more time had passed, we would have been OK. She would have been able to handle it. As it was, it was too much, too soon. She didn’t speak to me for a year. A full year. She was my best friend, and I lost her. It was horrible.
I still don’t know if Imade a mistake. If it would have been better to keep my mouth shut and maintain the status quo. But it was the elephant in the room, and I’m not very good at ignoring elephants.
More recently, I had a less intense, but similar experience with another friend. I can’t even remember what this one was about, but she didn’t speak to me for a week afterwards.
I’m really wondering if honesty is worth the hassle?